http://moeys.net

Things I learned from the movies

December 20th, 2011

There are many things that (those of us Arabs born in the 1980s) learned from movies, I wrote this list inspired by an email forwarded by a friend, had to remove and add my own experience here:

1. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 1-800.
2. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
3. Arabs always wear traditional clothes, even in the USA.
4. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
5. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
6. Computers never display a cursor on screen but always say: Enter Password Now.
7. No matter how fuzzy the photograph, it can be enlarged and enhanced to show the finest detail.
8. Nearly everyone speaks English, no matter where they are from. Even aliens from outer space, despite the fact they have never been to Earth, seen an Earthling, or even heard of Earth or Earthlings.
9. People rarely use the bathroom, and if they do, they’re usually dead within minutes.
10. When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a bill — just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
11. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
12. All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software.
13. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.
14. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
15. All writers are wealthy; all publishing companies are glamorous; all artists are self-supporting and have large attractive well-lit loft studios.
16. Dogs always know who’s bad and will naturally bark at them.
17. Aliens always attack America, in fact they only attacked South Africa once in District 9.
18. Arabs can’t speak proper English, they always do with an accent and tend to be angry.
19. Black people are usually bad, thugs, rob supermarkets and have guns.
20. America ALWAYS saves the day.

Feel free to add your points!