Depression keeps me sane.
I’m have stopped taking my medication. It doesn’t help anymore. Yes, I lied. I live on medication, I’m full of depression. I’m different, It hurts and I feel glad, because when it stops hurting, I don’t feel anything at all.
For some reason I don’t have the words to say much of anything these days. It’s not much of a comfort to think I’ve been worse. I wish I weren’t like this. I lie to myself. What’s there left to talk about, when I already know how it ends?
What chokes my throat, and stops my breath? I hate this mess and I don’t understand why I can’t just do things. What stops me? What?
Yara says it better than anyone else, Yara lived it like myself, sings it better. Drives me to tear, collapse and feel better next morning.
Yara - Inta Menni (You Are a Part of Me):
Lyrics (translated):
I left you, and you are a part of me,
I regret it to this day.
Even if I was forced, I should not have let it happen.
I am asking about you from far away.
I fear that if I were to come to you,
I will see that you have found someone else.
I have no right to complain,
I was the one who left you in pain,
But God alone knows of my loyalty and love for you.
I will distance myself from you, but my heart will be with you,
I will live with my pain,
God only knows what will happen when I am far.
If by chance I ever see you again,
God help me, I fear my love will reveal itself to you,
When you are close to me.
I tried to hide my love for you,
And lie to my soul by forgetting,
But your image never leaves my heart.
The night grows long, and I ask myself why?
Why do I hide my love for you?
Perhaps I have gone mad,
But God have mercy on your soul,
For condemning me to a life that I live for you.
I will distance myself from you, but my heart will be with you,
I will live with my pain,
God only knows what will happen when I am far.
If by chance I ever see you again,
God help me, I fear my love will reveal itself to you,
When you are close to me.
Sorry!
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Moey,
I know you are not into what I’m about to tell you, I myself havent reached that staged yet, but a dear friend told me once:
“Once, you start dedicating all your deeds and intentions to God alone, everything else doesn’t matter anymore”
It took me a while to fully comprehend this sentence.
At work, if you are working to impress your boss, or at home to gain your spouse’s love, it isn’t enough and will not fulfill your needs.
Once we start doing every little thing in our life for the sake of God, say every little word for the sake of God, depression, stress will fade away, because God will become your eyes and ears, because you are working your best to please God, regardless if your boss happy with it or not, regardless of his issues with you.
Including God in your life takes away all the little monkeys off your back.
OK, I’m sorry this turned out to be a preaching comment, I didn’t mean it this way, I’m not a religious person.
No, It’s alright. this might be true, I just didn’t reach the stage where I have this belief..
God is a relative concept … it is the inner peace that enlightens us in many ways wether it is a divine supreme unknown force that we need to belive in undoubtfully or the little joys in our daily lives that make us function, sadly those little things we do not pay enough attention to thus lose meanings of …
Everyone should start a GRATEFULNESS list, and start writing in it what he/she is grateful for rather than contemplating on what we do not have or can not. It changes lives, i am telling you.
Cheers buddy, you are the best in what you do.